My Dad

**ZemaTalon** · 04-18-2012, 08:48 PM

I went to my dad's funeral today. He was a WWII vet, so he got a six gun solute and an honor guard tribute. He died late last month after a six year fight with cancer. It came as no surprise, we were expecting it - he hadn't been doing well the last few months, and even before that we knew this day was in the near future. He spent his last several weeks in a rehab facility, it was shocking to go there and see how thin he had become, he always used to be on the large side, a little over weight, about 220 lbs. He ended up thinner than my mom, who was a naturally thin person, but ironically, when she died, the edema from kidney failure blew her up like a balloon, to the point she was hardly recognizable. My dad took care of my mom during her illness, not knowing he was facing the same fate. Actually I think he had been hiding the fact that something was wrong, until the night I had to drive him to the ER with an intestinal obstruction. They resected a section of his small intestine, but by that time it had spread to other organs, including his liver. But he trudged along with it after that, getting regular injections of a medication to suppress new blood vessel growth, with slowed the cancer's development. But it eventually caught up with him. He was sharp right up to the end, and even referred to one of his nurses as the fat lady, which she was

Anyway I didn't want to be a downer or anything so I didn't talk about it, it's just the end of a long protracted rough period of time my family went through, starting with my mom's ordeal which began in 2004. One positive to come out of all this, two of my older sisters who've really been at odds with each other during the whole thing and basically dividing the family for the last several years, were finally talking with each other at the funeral, and all of us spent the afternoon looking for my mom's plaque and placing flowers at it, and then at the site where my dad was slated to be interred. I know my dad would be happy to know that.

**Troy** · 04-18-2012, 09:14 PM

My condolences, Steve.
Very sorry to hear.

**MSUredux** · 04-18-2012, 10:02 PM

My condolences too there buddy. As hard as I'm sure it is, it's good that it wasn't a complete out of left field shock.

**BitBender** · 04-18-2012, 10:11 PM

Very sorry to hear this Steve.. I hope you and your Dad got times for the remembering....

**ZemaTalon** · 04-18-2012, 10:13 PM

Thanks guys. Yeah, it's kind of a catch22 - when it's long and drawn out it's less of a shock, but then the stress and pain of it all goes on for a very long time, years in this case. I was more shocked by their initial diagnosis because I knew what that meant down the line, especially at their age.

**Darcy** · 04-18-2012, 10:39 PM

oh, gosh,, ~ i am very sorry to learn of your dad's passing,,
my deepest condolences, Steve.

**camerseni** · 04-18-2012, 11:07 PM

I am Very Sorry. It is hard loosing your Parents no matter how it happens. In time you will get used to the Idea but they will always be with you.

**Grogan** · 04-18-2012, 11:52 PM

Zema, I am sorry for the loss of your Dad. Having a later funeral has got to be tough on the family too.

**ZemaTalon** · 04-19-2012, 01:45 AM

Thanks Cam and Gro. Yeah it is kind of like messing with a fresh wound. All the cultural formality we have around death has always seemed kind of silly to me, but that's just me. It was all nicely done though.